For the lack or for the want?

I feel like the hunchback Spartan trader Ephialtes, disloyal to my generation, when I hear people with similar FB timelines as mine, making it big in life by working towards achievement of that one dream which they have harbored and nurtured in their teens.

What was I doing when I was a teenybopper? Preparing for Organic chemistry exams, reading Sidney Sheldon in my leisure hours, spending wee hours fiddling with my first mobile handset (mind you back then it was novelty, especially when your boyfriend bought you one for the marathon night chats under the duvet), watching Blue Lagoon, Shakespeare in Love and the likes on TV when mom and dad were away, thinking of ways of arranging funds for the boyfriend’s birthday, finding a solution to the aforesaid by teaching kids all the way from the 1^st standard to the 10^th standard, chatting with random strangers sharing ‘asl’ in A Small Smoke Filled Café on Rediff. That’s what growing up was like.

My jaws dropped the other day when I discovered that the kids at the gym who work out with me are merely 18-19 and my jaws nearly swept the floor when they added that they were studying medicine or pharma or BDS or one of those intellectually stimulating courses. The stereotype of a geeky, nerdy, sloppy slob of a doctor was smashed for me. They know exactly where they are headed from here- cosmetic surgeon, big bucks, glamour, industrialists, Bollywood, face correction, more money, ageing actresses, sagging skin, lots of money!!!!! And therefore it is so important to look good themselves and hence turbo workouts at the age of 19 along with studies..WOW!!

I pondered over the sagacity of these driven people to be convinced that the most important thing today is to have clarity of thought, vision, knowing what leads you and what pulls you down and a Business Plan. No one likes being in jobs anymore, at least a score from my class (MBA) is making a desperate attempt at initiating their “start-up”; Decades ago MBA used to be esteemed but alas it has been replaced by Entrepreneur today! So I am a B.Tech, MBA, CFA and an Entrepreneur, as good as a degree, diploma or a charter.

And it seems I like a moron am required to think that if this rung breaks apart and re-starts a parallel universe of entrepreneurs, who will serve the old men already in the game. May be we will backtrack to the era of barter and scratch each other’s back for survival…Maybe KFC will provide Zingers for Facebook’s wedding (if Zuckerberg likes Fresh-ly fried Chicken) and Facebook will manufacture fans for KFC.

What kept my dad in his job for 30 years? Why didn’t he ever get frustrated with his boss(es) and broke off like a Leftist to start his mutiny? Had he done that, I would be chilling in a pool, sipping at a cocktail with a manicured, spa-treated expensive dog, beating the Mumbai heat. Maybe he is not a patron and believer of democracy and could clearly survive the politics of work- in its inherent anarchical or monarchial form. What sets us apart? Why is there so much unrest in us? Are the patience levels depleting like Ozone? Are today’s employers the reincarnates of Hitler, Stalin and other tyrants? Are there more opportunities today than ever existed? Or do we have a sharper intuition and sense to judge the opportunities or are we really really smart to make something out of nothing? Is change and mobility of prime importance to us today? Was money and career never this important to our predecessors? Is Loyalty a vice now? Do we have an inflated sense of who we are and what we are capable of? OR is this another attempt at accomplishing oneself as “have arrived”.

Suddenly self-expression has become so vital that everyone seems to have an extended personality. Irrespective of whatever one is at work, he or she must be a socialite, must play golf, attend all the important events in the city, blog (for money), must know photography (for sharing), must be training physically, running marathons, must know all forms of “alternate”- music, cultures, sports; undertaking deep sea diving, trekking courses and certifications etc. While I simply am into reading, watching films and occasionally cooking, I find these interests and extensions extremely stylish and smart. I have immense respect for all those who manage their “lifestyle” so beautifully well. But I wonder if all these manifestations of a certain personality are a function of growing and moving up in life or a certain education type or a metro phenomenon or a residue of exposure to the world or mere perceptiveness or overwhelming love for self or cognition and need to earn more money or need to belong like the rich and the famous or….

Somewhere the entrepreneurial streak and the general interests are intertwined. From knowing what an individual does when free of the golden handcuffs (read job) I can now figure whether he or she stands a chance as an entrepreneur or not.

For me, I am still waiting to know myself beyond work and mundane and of course the wait for the ultimate discovery of my Business Plan continues.