Posts
My letter to Tammy
Treat this as an acknowledgement buddy. I am virtuous and couldn’t palpably embezzle your initiative hence the effort. This in effect will result in a “letter to your Future Girlfriend” and not my future boyfriend as an outcome of some epiphanies. Thoughts can be corrected at a later stage but I’m sure you won’t have too many contentions from what I know of you. So here we go!
Dear FG Phantasma
It’s about time I write to you because I am sure you are well existent in all your capacity in some part of the world. But sometimes I wonder how to get to you, you act so elusive! Nevertheless the onus for an introduction will always be on me and therefore laying down the dos and the don’ts to follow when we make our association. Of course you can have your say when you arrive; I’ll do my bit in your absence however.
Gal be my FG in the real sense, earnestly don’t end up being the Fuck Girl only; I abhor all such relationships of convenience. There are fancy names for this kind of an arrangement, no-name zone, friends with benefits, flings but let me drive home the point that I advocate none. Don’t misjudge my coolness but I simply can’t, not that I haven’t tried, but my attempts fell flat in the face. I probably don’t belong to that race. I might appear to be heady, in control, self reliant, decadent, etcetera but that’s just an ostentatious façade that I carry with me, it’s more like a shield you know. Somewhere in my heart of hearts I am still too clung on to morals and values which I compromise when I desire, mind you only when I wish.
I have learnt things the hard way in life but candidly I am a dimwit because I end up committing the same mistakes repeatedly. So in order to evade any further hurt to self I have decided to keep the emotional beast in me in shackles and to not permit him to surface ever. A word of caution for you would be to never whisper those three hideous words in my ears not even when you mean them. I hate the hollowness with which it’s splattered in the face. They mean nothing to me, not anymore. Earlier I used to take them too seriously and would normally start weaving dreams around them, but not anymore. I have outgrown the charm of “being in love”. I don’t think I can love anyone, not even you, no offence but it’s just the way I have become, invulnerable. I can merely keep you company, take you to the seventh heaven and back again and make my presence felt in more ways than one, but I don’t feel butterflies in the stomach anymore, I don’t feel misty eyed when struck with and emotional panorama, I don’t believe anyone can ever be indispensible because I have mastered the art of moving on and I expect you to come equipped with the same because nothing is non-transient.
I am an attention slut. So if you are my girl, for whatever time, don’t forget to make me feel wanted. That’s how I function. I need to know my importance in your life. So if you ever make me feel like shit, you’ll get it back from me, I am very ruthless that ways. This doesn’t mean that I am an avid promoter of PDA but a subtle hint of what I mean to you once in a while would be appreciated, after all, all of us are lovelorn in life, aren’t we?
It might take you anything from a day to a million light years to know me but don’t give up without trying, I am not complex really. So abstain from hurting me, not that I get hurt easily (don’t believe me when I say that) because my past life has rendered me rock solid. I have been on both sides of the tunnel, have had the giving hand and the receiving one too so I will go easy on you, I promise.
P.S. : Apply/approach after you have thoroughly read the aforesaid Phantasma!
